The best thing about alcohol hand sanitizer gel in the hospital is that everyone walks around looking like they’re hatching a dastardly plan.
Putin the photos from my camera onto my computer and I find that Gio took a picture of the driver’s seat of Kayla’s car.
Do other people’s friends text them things like this or am I just the lucky one -_-
When laughter must come to pass, Kayla will save your ass
Today is going to be wonderful
I’m going to be up in the glorious sun and get some good D.
I will be doing errand I most certainly want done. I have blogged almost all night and I love that.
I will be seeing Kayla and people for a wonderful meal at Mandarin :)
I’ve been up all night
And I don’t care and I love that I feel fully fine!
Going through all the photos I wanted to upload on Facebook and here and all the stuff that happened, it has really been wonderful
That day I was in Smithville with Kayla and David. DAvid stopped to smoke stuff and we fooled around in a huge Willow Tree. I took pictures and thought he would have loved to get these later.
Now David is gone and he never got to see them. I had forgotten about them myself. So now these photos are a treasure of my last real hangout day with him.
In an hour and 10 minutes I’m supposed to wake up and take out the trash, well at least with my new musics to listen to I will be good to go. Another all nighter, Simon you are crazy kid.
Upstairs at 5am
Went upstairs to have some cough medicine and get distracted by Stella who is running up and down the stairs and making her excited purring sounds.
I went to the kitchen and chugged some stuff and looked out the kitchen window. The sky is getting bluer as the sun begins it rise. I went to look outside the front windows and just listened to the sound of the still street and the wonderful birdsong that I can even hear in my room because its so loud.
Stella was stark-still, ears flattened against her head, eyes as large as marbles, she was staring down a rabbit that was sitting in the middle of our lawn. It was brown and smelling the dew, probably sampling it too. The screen was open and the coolness of the early morning was breathtaking. I was actually debating putting on my winter jacket and going for a walk. It was really calm out there. I watched the rabbit for a while alongside my obsessed cat. It hopped steadily closer and at each movement Stella jerked her head and lifted her nose slightly. I soon left and returned to the kitchen for sustenance.
I selected the half eaten Swiss mushroom melt hamburger that I could not bring myself to finish at the restaurant I went to with Danielle, Mazie, Tracy, Amanda, and Miko the night before. It was clod and firm, but damn it was so good. I think I should refrigerate half eaten burgers more often.
I Can’t Sleep. There is too much on my mind
I can’t do it, I am physically not able to sleep. I was lying in bed and listening to the glory of Fireflies and all these memories just flooded me, times that once were and are no longer.
Today is the month anniversary of David’s Death, and with that came back all the sour feelings turning inside me, of the text I got from my sister when she heard it at school confirming “he died :(” , when I called Kayla to see how she was and she began to ball on the other end, when I hung up and squeezed my phone like an orange. Crying to Rebecca as she led me down the hall, past Anita and Nick and outside. The visitation, the funeral, the crying, the tears, his mom, his dad, Kristen, the orange roses, the white bows, Safe and Sound.
Damn. I even was hit by a sudden devastation of the loss of Murmle, and I thought of the day that Stella too will pass away and I cried for both of my cats.
My throat hurts now, in that way it does when you want to cry but are restrainig yourself.
I actually just had to sit up and turn on my laptop again and just write. I don’t care. I have been staying up this late for weeks, its horrible.
Past 4am is not a good time to call it a night. I even pulled another allnighter, I’m insane.
I can’t get Kayla’s voice out of my head, and normally I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but it’s her voice as she told me “he texted me 9 days ago!” and the crying, it was so clear and so wet. I was in a numbness of the brain where I was hearing this sound and feeling it, like the water was seeping out the buttons of my phone.
I’m coughing like crazy, I’m going to get some Resperactin.
